Yes, here I am again — and yes, I know the W-2’s haven’t arrived, and you might not have begun to really think about little ol’ Alan Newcomb and your taxes yet. But today I want to offer you some reasons why … well, you should.
In fact, there are LOTS of good reasons.
For instance: get your refund sooner.
Yes — I’ve written before (and will again) of the many reasons why you don’t want to “allow” your hard-earned money to be held by the US Treasury Department on your “behalf” so that they can (oh so kindly) “refund” it back to you after you file your taxes. But not everyone listens. That’s okay.
And yes, if you’re due a big refund, you might even want it sooner — and we have options that can help you do that quick.
But there are other reasons too. Reasons like…
2) Peace of Mind. Get that paperwork monkey off your back. In fact, don’t EVER let it even be on your back. Let us do the heavy lifting.
3) FRAUD. Tax time is famous for criminals grabbing Southern Illinois IL identities and filing fraudulent returns. The sooner YOUR returns are filed means the less risk for someone to hack your information, and take YOUR money. Get ahead of the criminals.
4) Make plans for what you might owe. This is way less fun. But you know what’s even LESS fun? Scrambling to avoid penalties in a couple weeks (or even worse — days), because the return was filed in April … and you have to make fast decisions about a big number. Yikes. (But again — we’re here for you, even then. But it isn’t fun for anyone.)
5) To start early on 2020 tax planning. Let’s clear the deck ASAP and get you as clean a slate as possible to be proactive about this year’s taxes. 2019 is already in the rearview, but we can do things NOW to help.
6) Our calendar will be getting full. The sooner you get your stuff to us, the sooner we can do our thing. And as you’ll see in a moment, you WANT us on your side.
And you might be wondering: “Should I use Alan Newcomb’s team for my taxes this year?”
Well, with apologies to a certain lawman based out of Texas named “Walker”, I have put together some very true, not-at-all-made-up FACTS which might help you answer that question.
2019 Tax Planning and Almost Completely True Facts About Alan Newcomb
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Looking for reasons to use our services this year? Try these on for size. There is even a decent chance that at least some of them are true.
1) Alan Newcomb does not sleep after tax season, but only waits.
2) When the IRS Man goes to sleep each night, he checks his closet for signs of Alan Newcomb. Carefully.
3) Alan Newcomb can lead a horse to water AND make it drink — and analyze a prior-year tax return at the same time.
4) Alan Newcomb counted to infinity — twice. The IRS is still counting.
5) When Alan Newcomb falls into the water, Alan Newcomb doesn’t get wet. Water gets Alan Newcomb. And all documentation is still preserved.
6) Alan Newcomb CAN believe it’s not butter. Treasury agents think that it is probably butter.
7) Alan Newcomb doesn’t read the tax code … but simply stares it down until the information submits.
8) Alan Newcomb can divide by zero. Legally.
9) If you look closely, you can see Alan Newcomb in every scene of Avengers EndGame. Captain America was grateful for the tax advice.
10) Alan Newcomb has never blinked over the course of life. Never. Unlike the IRS when they pick up the phone and Alan Newcomb is on the line.
11) Alan Newcomb once fixed an incorrect tax return by
simply looking at it. With eyes of fire.
12) Alan Newcomb has never been “away” on vacation. Resort locations come to Alan Newcomb. Even during tax season.
13) Alan Newcomb never hides, but only seeks. And always on your behalf.
Don’t you feel better with Alan Newcomb on your side? Only certain parts of this are actually true, of course. But I’ll leave it to you to figure out which parts.
And all kidding aside — I want you to know how deeply we appreciate the opportunity to serve you and your family with your tax work. With tax season coming at us, it’s important that I communicate that we are so grateful for the chance to put our very specific set of skills to work on your behalf.
We’re here to help. Let me know if you have any questions.
Bills Tax Service